Coffee & Chaos Survival Pack — For the Chronically Tired and Proudly Spooky

Sleep is a myth. Deadlines are eternal. Coffee is the only thing standing between you and whatever happens when the caffeine runs out.

The Coffee & Chaos Survival Pack is a curated desk toolkit for the person who runs on espresso, dark humor, and sheer spite. Equal parts functional and unsettling, in the best possible way.

What's inside the pack:

• "My Blood Type is Coffee" Spiral Notebook — A gothic castle backdrop featuring a tiny vampire girl clutching her coffee like a life source — because it is. Wide enough for notes, plans, and dramatic declarations.
• "My Blood Type is Coffee" 5x7 Notepad — A lined notepad featuring the same vampire girl, for the daily lists and dispatches that keep the chaos organized. Barely.
• "Does This Coffee Make Me Look Alive?" Sticker — A grim reaper holding a coffee cup, asking the real questions. Water resistant vinyl, 3 inches.
• "Hand Over the Coffee and No One Gets Hurt" Sticker — A heartbeat monitor and coffee cup die-cut sticker that doubles as both a threat and a mood. Water resistant vinyl, 3 inches.
• "My Blood Type is Coffee" Vampire Girl Sticker — The mascot of this entire set, ready to live on your laptop, water bottle, or anywhere that could use a little gothic coffee energy. Water resistant vinyl, 3 inches.

Ships flat in a protective sleeve, ready to gift as-is — or keep it for yourself. No judgment.